Ultimate Act of Love
If you are like most people you probably have put off collecting and categorizing vital information that your adult children will need to have on hand in the event of incapacitating illness or your death.
This month I have put together a list of questions for you to answer that they will most likely need to know. It may take you a couple of weeks to accumulate all of the information below but it will be well worth it. This will give you and your children peace of mind.
Sometimes our lives can drastically change due to illness or even end suddenly and our adult children are left with difficult decisions to make. They find themselves scrambling to locate a wide variety of documents while wrestling with a kaleidoscope of emotions.
It is up to you whether you want your relatives to know you have all of this information in one place but I strongly suggest that you consider only letting your power of attorney, estate manager and lawyer know for safety sake. Money does strange things to relationships. It is extremely important to have spiritual advice and prayer from your covering- your pastor, for divine protection and wisdom when making your plans.
So, let’s get started. Get a new spiral notebook to document your instructions and wishes, a plastic file box to hold the files you are going to organize and alphabetical dividers.
- Who is your family attorney? Place his contact information in a folder marked “Attorney”.
- Do you have a power of attorney? If so, place the legal POA paperwork (originals and three copies) in a folder marked “Power of Attorney”. If not, appoint someone you trust. Make sure your attorney understands the type of POA needed to carry out your wishes and to have access to all of your holdings for your future care. The POA expires at the time of his death. It would be wise to designate a secondary choice in the event of the primary persons’ illness or death. You need to have the POA notarized in the presence of two witnesses who do not have any interest in his affairs. The attorney will go into more detail regarding the types of POA’s and the rules specific to each.
- Do you have a financial planner or an accountant? Put his contact information in a folder and label the tab accordingly.
- On the spiral, make a page to list where all of your bank accounts are, including their addresses, phone numbers and the names of the people you usually deal with there. Make sure you list the exact, correctly spelled passwords and account numbers. Don’t forget to list the savings accounts separately, along with their passwords.
- Do you have a current will; where is it and is it exactly the way you want it? If you want to update it, call your attorney and make an appointment but in the meantime, put the current will in a folder along with three copies. Your estate manager and attorney should also have copies.
- Place your marriage certificate in a folder. If your spouse is still living, you will both need this so benefits can be filed for in the event of death.
- What current life insurance do you have? Where are the policies located? Have you been dealing with a particular agent? Where is the contact information located? Gather all of these papers together and place them in individual folders and mark the tabs accordingly. Do this for both you and your spouse.
- Do you have funeral insurance? Where do you keep the paperwork? This will all go into a file marked “Funeral Insurance”.
- Do you have funeral arrangements made with a specific funeral home? Where is all of your paperwork located? This will go into a file marked “Funeral Arrangements for __________”. Make 2 files if your spouse is still living.
- Make a list of all of your current credit cards, contact information and the passwords on each.
- Do you own any property? Write down the details in your spiral. If there are any existing deeds, place them in a file marked “Property Deeds”.
- If you have title deeds to automobiles, place them in a file marked “Auto Deeds”.
- Do you have a safe deposit box? List in your spiral where it’s located, the password and account number. Tape a copy of the key on the inside of the folder.
- Do you have a pension or retirement plan with any of your former employers? Place all paperwork relating to the evidence of it’s existence, including contact information and key people involved in a folder marked “Pension Plan”.
- Do you have any CD’s or IRA’s? Who do you have them with? Place all paperwork and certificates in a folder and mark it accordingly.
- List all of your assets and debts on a sheet of paper, make a file and date it. Update this information at least annually.
- If you care to, plan your funeral, plan the music, the selection of pallbearers, the soloist and you can even write a message to your family and friends to be read at your funeral. Make sure it is a positive and edifying message though! Place the plan in a folder marked “My Funeral Preferences”.
Place your spiral in a folder marked “Vital Information”.
The wisest place to store this file box is in a safe and the combination should be given to your attorney, estate manager and placed on a piece of paper in a safe deposit box at the bank. If you do not own a safe, place the file box in your attic but be sure to notify the people mentioned above of its whereabouts.
This will take time to gather but you must have the information at your representatives’ fingertips at any given time so get it done. Don’t put it off.
If you are reading this article and want to do this but need some help, ask your POA to help you. Enlist the help and legwork of trusted family members but only after consulting with your POA to know who to include. You may need to divide up the list among several people. Call a family meeting with a few of the more organized and diligent members. Schedule the next meeting with them (have them bring their weekly planners or calendars with them) before they leave.
This may sound like a lot of unnecessary work especially if you’ve never been through having to search for such information after the death of a loved one personally. In that event, you have no idea how important it is to get it done right. If you have been through it and not been this organized, then you will appreciate our attention to the small details. One thing is for sure though; your children and/or loved ones will truly appreciate this act of love and consideration.
