Bobby & Kasi Turner
This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast
Listen to Volume # 097 — Bobby & Kasi Turner – “Bobby & Kasi Turner” (Podcast)
“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Bobby & Kasi Turner
Broadcast Date: December 26, 2009
Bobby and Kasi Turner met in high school, fell in love and shortly after graduation got married. They were in a terrible automobile accident soon after that when a large truck ran into them from behind when they were at a stop sign…and the truck was doing 70 miles per hour at the time. They were both hospitalized with neck and back injuries, and it took months of physical therapy to partially recover. They both worked despite migraines and intractable pain, moving from one job to another, one doctor to another throughout the years.
Bobby suffers mostly from Intractable Migraines, with blindness, confusion episodes and nausea lasting 24-7-365. Kasi also has migraines, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and problems with her neck, including arthritis, a herniated disc, and a bone spur. They are both on Social Security Disability now, as their conditions don’t allow them to hold down any type of job. It is a miracle they are still in love and still together. They give credit to their love and faith in Jesus. They share a Wonderful message of hope with people who suffer with things of this nature. Cling together in prayer and love, and you can survive. They say “We love one another and have survived not only in spite of these maladies but because of them, our family, and friends.”
They are raising two children who also suffer from disabilities. Their Daughter Faith Auriel has had ADD/ODD her entire life, and has now been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. They went to doctors, parenting classes and support groups, learning to parent in a special way. She has had a rough time of it herself, especially at the age of 12 when she suffered a total mental/physical breakdown. She was catatonic for about a year, not able to focus on anything in her environment, speak or even take care of her own personal needs. God Blessed her as after about one year she was able to start coming back to the “real” world, and now, though still disabled, is living an adult life with her parents at home.
Seth is the other story, a son with ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and mood disorders; by 5 years old ODD (oppositional defiance disorder), anger issues and by 7 he had diagnosed as Bipolar. Later he was diagnosed with Aspergers Disorder, which is form of Autism. Seth and oppositional defiance disorder and intermittent explosive disorder. Rage in moments out of nowhere…Seth is big now and it is much is harder to take care of. Now he goes into spontaneous rages, and is dangerous to them and to himself. He is 12 but socially and mentally is about 8 yrs old now. He doesn’t “get” the social interaction.
They still take care of each other and their kids, by shifting-out. They tag-team care of the kids…and home-school too. Public school did not and does not really have a place for needy children like this. Kasi and Bobby always had to work two and three jobs a piece to survive through the years. Bobby used hobbies, coins, and books as a way to bring in some extra money to help them get by. Again, they give credit to their family and church friends who were very helpful and supportive .
Many people have caregiving for a season only, then their loved-one usually heals or passes on. Rarely do people caregive more than 10 yrs. It has been about 20 yrs or more now, and should continue the rest of their lives.
To avoid caregiving burnout they have family members who “rescue” them from time to time. Bobby, and Kasi get kidnapped by their families to get away from things or get some out time to go to the movies or watch football games. Kasi will visit with ladies in the family for outings or sewing days.
“A lady needs to be courted” Bobby says, and does so by taking her out to have her nails done or have her hair styled.
This life has caused them to work very hard on their family relationship. “If you look back did you plan your life or did it just happen” Bobby quotes… he says that they had to work on those issues daily, not just watch them happen.
They stood side by side throughout the years. Kasi jokes “it’s like, who else is gonna take care of him/her?” Only by the grace of God have they managed to stay together and there is no support like Christ! Nobody can pick you up and dust you off, and put you back on your feet like Christ.
It opens your eyes to others’ trials and pains. It shows us our blessings and allows us to see those in pain and in need all around us. We are not the only people out there taking care of others, both disabled. It makes us wonder how many ministries that are out there that are aware that two disabled people need help taking care of the clothes, cooking dinner, going grocery shopping. With so many elderly taking care of each other, this is an issue that needs to be addressed.
They advise, if you are caregiving for disabled children, research online and check with your local schools to see if they have accommodations. Look for local support groups, pray, check out churches and see if they have Sunday School classes for them. Be willing to let other people help you. Don’t turn on each other and get frustrated, pray together and stay together. It’s a team effort and you are synergistically stronger together-than apart.
The last family dynamic to explore is the relationship between Seth and Faith. Both children have intermittent explosive disorder, and when they are together they clash. Bobby and Kasi have had to work hard on that dynamic and teach them proper interaction tools. The children love each other and do much better now. “It is really that their relationship is stronger than it would be if they had a normal sibling relationship. We have had to teach them from our past learning, from parenting classes to parenting books. We go to therapists also, to encourage correct family dynamic changes. Ask the doctors’ advice on help and local resources.
We have had to give up careers etc to rearrange our life around our children and their needs, as well as our own. We are both caregivers for three people. This is not just a curse…it’s a blessing. We are stronger now, and we know how to work with others now” Bobby says, “and so do our children”.
Starr & Bob Calo-oy created CaregiversAdvice.net to help, encourage, and support caregivers. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning caregiving. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share caregiving and marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, Marriage101.net for marriage help and encouragement. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.
January 15th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
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June 12th, 2010 at 2:30 am
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