Mikie Baker – Caregiving Humorist
This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast
Listen to Volume # 096 —“Mikie Baker” (Podcast)
“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Mikie Baker
Broadcast Date: December 19, 2009
Mikie Baker, Caregiving Humorist describes humorous stories of her Mom who has Dementia and describes needs that may arise when caregiving for your loved one.
Dearly Demented Mom…Mom likes those stuffed animals that sing. She bought her a reindeer that sings grandma got run over by a reindeer… and she enjoys her play toy this season. When she takes her to the V.A. hospital she brings her push toys to keep her busy and focus her attention, and that way she has something to talk about to her friends at that hospital.
Patrick Swazie, she was a fan of him. She took his death very hard. That night she heard about his death, she said tomorrow I need to go shopping. Tomorrow I need to buy black lace underwear for him for mourning.
In her world now, she has about 3 or four girls then there’s Marcus the boy. Then her imaginary husband and her …well, they announced that they adopted 400 boys and now they’re going to adopt them out to orphanages in Africa.
Her mom had always said “If I give you too much trouble, send me to a nursing home”. She decided never, and then took her home to care for her. She says her daughter is taking such good care of her she’s never going to die.
Maybe you are feeling guilt because you have this burden on your shoulders. Don’t. Find alternate living arrangements If you have promised NO nursing home. However, maybe your conditions have changed since such a promise, maybe you have gone from $100,000.00 to $20,000.00.
Dementia is a progressive disease, and you need to be ready for the unexpected. Mikie says that Starr and Bob’s book lets her see what has already happened, is happening AND what may be to come. She says that it has already helped comfort her just to know what happens in this or that situation, and what may be down the road.
She came up with some convenient eating foods/finger foods for mom. Honey bun in mini bits, corn dog in pieces, sweet potatoes in bits. Pizza rolls, mini quiches and all that for new years, and watch the ball drop on T.V. then go to bed. Finger foods help from starr-If they have a hard time with utensils then serve boiled eggs, nuggets, burritos, dunkers french toast sticks, fries, egg rolls, granola bars, mini burgers, hot dogs, mini sandwiches, sausages, tacitos, waffles-sticks/dippers. These help your loved ones feel comfortable, since they can easily feed themselves.
Mikie speaks of her new boyfriend, and mom isn’t sure about him. She is watching him out of the corner of her eye…lol.
Starr says that routine is good for the demented. Surprises will frighten them and going outside of the routine will give you many sleepless nights. Don’t take them out of their routine. They need food, room environment, bath everything must be at the same time every day.
About respite. If you have any type of condition, then look it up because there are tremendous resources. If you have V.A. based home care, then you have many resources. There is a new respite care for you and you will have 36 hours of respite care for your loved one to give you time to get out and shop, errands, etc. USE it. What a tremendous benefit. You can acquire respite. Some nursing homes have it too. Respite means break, breather, and relief or let-up. Check up on it, just call around places like Leeza’s Place at the Bob Ross center 210-207-5300. They always have a pot of coffee on and you can cry on their shoulder if you need someone to talk to. There are even meals on wheels for that wonderful break, a lovingly prepared meal delivered right to you.
Stats: 50 percent of primary caregivers have no help because they don’t know help exists. Can you believe that? They are immersed into this life with no warning and it’s sink or swim guys. Go to www.caregiversadvice.net for free help and resource information. This will make your caregiving job much easier.
1 in 4 households are caring for people aged 50 or older. More than 40% of caregivers for elderly are also caring for young teenagers as well. It is very important to have this kind of help available.
You might have had bad things happen at the hands of your parents, verbal or physical or emotional, and now you find yourself in this position. They are old and helpless and here you are with all the power in your hands, you control their every need and you supply it.
You need to remember that they are not the same that they used to be, and it’s not time for payback. Don’t hold back on them. December is number one in murder and suicide in married couples. Honor your parents. Take the job seriously in mercy and grace that you extend to your parent. If they have dementia they live in a different world so you have to have the mercy and grace to know that they are not “doing this on purpose”. Don’t take things personally. If you have a father who is reaching out toward you and you are a daughter, and it is almost sexual, then it MAY be that you look like your mom at that age and dementia has hold. Disguise yourself when you go into the room to take care of him, put on a nurse uniform or wig….it happens.
Mikie had problems with her mom and her wheelchair. Chair is too small. They had V.A. come out and measure and then came out with a nice wheelchair. Then it was too wide for the door as it had rims to help lift. They took off the rims…then the wheels are a problem. Then they refined the wheels, and they look like racing spokes, or special sport ones. However they were too wide! She said thanks for the coolest chrome package in town but… Then she measured her door WITH them and said write it down NOW and we’ll see. She noticed that that her loved one is getting wider even though not gaining weight.
Home repair modifications (Bexar) 210-340-5111; they can help you modify your home to your special needs, like ramps etc. An assessment is so very helpful. They have things that you need that you didn’t know you need.
Starr & Bob Calo-oy created CaregiversAdvice.net to help, encourage, and support caregivers. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning caregiving. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share caregiving and marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, Marriage101.net for marriage help and encouragement. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.
