Caregiving 101

Damiano de Sano Iocovozzi – Hospice Tools

Kasi — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 20:19:38 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 130 —“Damiano de Sano Iocovozzi – Hospice Tools” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Damiano de Sano Iocovozzi
Broadcast Date: August 14, 2010

Damiano de Sano Iocovozzi shares hospice tools to help you take care of your loved one at the sunset of their life.

Damiano is a family nurse practitioner as well as a published writer of a book to help guide people in their struggle to come to terms with the immediacy of hospice care, titled, “Sooner or Later, Restoring Sanity to End of Life Care”.

Statistics show if you live 72 years most people die of natural illness, accidents or old age. 10 percent die suddenly and 90 of illness. About 250,000 people die in the world each day.

It is a hard and dangerous time when you must face death. Denial about death arises from the stigma of dying. For some reason there is a “War” attitude about passing, and that you must “fight”. This is wrong. People in America rarely get to keep their dignity as they leave this life, being intubated and surrounded by the bustle of nursed tubes and wires, with doctors pounding them back to this side.

None of us get out of this life alive. It is as natural a process as anything God has put into place. We’re born, we live and we die. Deal with it. When your time comes don’t you want to be at peace, surrounded by your family and at home? You can if you prepare.

Damiano’s book has a wonderful ‘Opinion Section’ to help. There are questions that help you face the whole reality, to help you analyze and get an idea of what is and will be happening. The person who is responding to these questions can’t hide from the truth of what is actually happening in your lives. They are very direct and honest to help you break through the denial process, to realize that you have choices to make NOW. Most people are disappointed. There is time to ask questions, and prepare for the end.

At the point of death do you want CPR? Do you want your pain eased? Will you want multiple machines connected to you, tubes and wires? Would you rather be in Hospice care? If you go to hospice you need to be a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) patient. You will get every consideration for pain, hunger and suffering, but when it’s time for you to “go” you will be allowed to pass naturally.

There are many agenda’s that surface at this time. If your children are dependent on you and your financial care, they may want you to live longest and confront your doctor. If your children have unresolved issues or guilt with/about you then they may be reluctant to let you die, and fight your wishes. It is important to prepare. Hospice care is not a state or destination, but a state of mind. It is not about the quantity of days you have left, but the quality of care.

Starr & Bob Calo-oy created CaregiversAdvice.net to help, encourage, and support caregivers. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning caregiving. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share caregiving and marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, Marriage101.net for marriage help and encouragement. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.

Suzanne Mintz – National Caregiving Family Association

Kasi — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:31:47 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 129 —“Suzanne Mintz – National Caregiving Family Association” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Suzanne Mintz
Broadcast Date: August 7, 2010

Suzanne Mintz is the President and founder of the very first National Caregiving Organization, called National Family Caregiving Association. She refers to her book “Family Caregivers Speak Up”.

Suzanne’s husband has Multiple Sclerosis and she is very familiar with the caregiving world. She knows that many people don’t understand where the mixed emotions involved with being a primary caregiver come from. For example, you are much more prone to exhaustion, illness and depression as a caregiver, also suffering from caregiver burnout. Family caregivers lay a lot of guilt on their selves.

Unfortunately, as a caregiver, you will be often criticized by family members.

Some startling statistics:

46-59% of Caregivers are clinically depressed. You are twice as likely to suffer depression if your family member has depression, and if it’s your spouse you are twice as likely. 31 % of those caring for people 65+ describe their own health as poor. Spousal caregivers have a 63 % risk of dying as a caregiver, from stress and poor health. Fortunately, with foreknowledge you can lessen this risk by reaching-out to support groups and take time to rest and recharge your mind as well as immune system.

New healthcare reform should affect caregivers. This is the first time that the role of family caregivers in home health care has been written into law. Praise God!!! In the bill, there are 17 specific sections (in this 2000 page document) that specifically refer to caregivers and end-care. Many are concerning programs to be piloted or directed in care, with requirements. Patient-centered medical homes, coordinated with doctors will all be taken care-of. There are pilots that address transitions-care. You will even see some education for family caregivers in this bill. There is even one financial piece that will help working people put aside money for family caregiving.

Sleeping tips for you: earplugs, good mattress-sheets-pillows, only sleep in bed, don’t eat or watch television. No alcohol…it will actually keep you awake! If you need a nap, use darkening blinds or curtains. Make sure a fan is on for background sound, or make sure it’s quiet if that is your wish.

Sleeping tips for spouse or loved-one. Use baby monitor (takes worry away). Make sure they take early afternoon nap (cuddle even). Have soft music or fountain. If you loved one likes to pace or wonder around, let them until they are tired (as long as they can safely walk unassisted). If they can’t sleep after 30 minutes, encourage them to get up and read, or watch a peaceful television program.

Suzanne’s final advice:

Believe in yourself, protect yourself & your health, and protect your rights.

Bob and Starr Calo-oy

Kasi — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 18:56:42 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 126 —“Starr and Bob Calo-oy” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Starr and Bob Calo-oy
Broadcast Date: July 17, 2010

Starr and Bob Calo-oy speak about how they got started in home caregiving, and pour out their hearts with their combined testimony covering 50 years of service. They breakdown the importance of their books, and how it can apply/help you with your daily life!

There will always be caregiving, and many people become caregivers every day. Did you know that there is a 63% higher chance of dying as a caregiver than not? All too often you will put-off your own health when focusing on taking care of somebody else. Many times you exhaust yourself, and your immune system is at its all-time low.

More than 40% of caregivers for elders are also raising their own children of under 18 years. The dynamics are changing in America, back to “old-time” standards. Soon 40% of the caregiving role will be “done” by men. Did you know that Nursing Homes did not even exist in the States until the 1960’s? For a long time now we’ve seen people pass-on the caregiving role outside of the home. Now we are beginning to see more men and women rise to the occasion and caring for their own mom, dad and grandparents.

The Majority of caregivers are 35-49 years old now. Most caregivers are either working full time or part time now. Many of our nation’s caregivers are over 50 years old and taking care of their parents and spouses.

Privileges to taking care of your loved one at home: Privacy to grieve, and speak at liberty. You have the bonding and end of life resolution. You have the satisfaction of being there for your loved-one. You can bond with your siblings in ways that are new, and will grow closer to family.

Specific needs should be addressed when dealing with those suffering from dementia. We have behavioral problems and changes that can “come” from nowhere! Wondering is a problem, and so is communication. The dementia patient can get startled and angry quickly, so approach from in front or the side, not behind, so as not to startle. It is good to actually explain what physical acts and activities to keep the situation calm and peaceful when changing clothes or giving them food…otherwise they might get scared or startled.

One importance with communicating with a family dementia patient is not expecting them to act as they always have. Another difficulty is when the Father or Mother sees the son or daughter as their young spouse of many years gone. Sometimes sexual advances are made in confusion; mistaken lover-identity is actually quite common.

Unresolved Conflict

Kasi — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 18:55:33 +0000

This Week’s Featured TV Podcast

Listen to Volume # 011— Starr Calo-oy – “Unresolved Conflict” ( TV Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” Tips on KENS TV–5, San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr Calo–oy
Topic: Unresolved Conflict
Broadcast Date: August 3, 2008

Sometimes we have to care for those who did not well care for us. Don’t expect to get justice for those wrongs. Unforgiveness is bad for you emotionally and physically. It doesn’t hurt the one at whom you are angry. You might join a support group to help you deal with painful feelings.

Have a meeting with your family and let them know that you are going to forgive and move on and treat your loved one with dignity, respect, and love rather than make them suffer for their crimes. Create new memories and photos; don’t rely on those from the past that might cause bad feelings.

How to Get Outside Help

Kasi — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:35:28 +0000

This Week’s Featured TV Podcast

Listen to Volume # 005— Starr Calo-oy – “How to Get Outside Help” ( TV Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” Tips on KENS TV–5, San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr Calo–oy
Topic: How to Get Outside Help
Broadcast Date: July 22, 2008

As a caregiver you need to take some time off for yourself. Take a vacation without your loved one – your family needs you. You may need to hire someone to come in and sit with your loved one. If you know someone else who is a caregiver, offer to swap times with them. You may be able to get help through your church or other organizations to have someone sit with your loved one while you go out.

Tony Rher

Kasi — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 03:25:19 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 124 —“Tony Rher” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Tony Rher
Broadcast Date: July 3, 2010

Toby Rher is an LVN with Americas Medical Team Home Health, and shares caregiving stories and advice from his point of view, to help some of our caregivers out there.

Toby had been “patched-up” many times over the years, having survived several vehicle accidents. He worked with nurses and doctors for many years to get better physically, and grew to respect the field as well as the personnel. He soon decided that this was something he wanted to do with his life…help others.

He learned that giving medications to the elderly (with dementia) that have problems taking them can be easily remedied by crushing them-up inside food. He also learned first-hand about paranoia. You need to take the time to find out what’s the root of the problem. You need to remember not to take anything personally, especially if they think you are poisoning them or stealing their money.

Currently Tony’s a home health nurse, attending bedbound and homebound patients. He speaks about the seriousness of bedsores. Any patient bedbound for any period of time needs to be turned frequently. Their bony prominences such as joints and even ears tend to turn red, which is a pressure sore. If you see this you need to improve circulation and turn the patient. They get worse fast, as the next stage is a break in the skin looking like a road rash, to a weeping sore.

Encourage hydration and foods high in protein for muscle and tissue health. You will need to keep a close eye on the sore, and keep bandages clean. You can use pillows to prop them up, and if you have a draw sheet or incontinence pad, it will alleviate most of the burden of turning the patient.

The bulk of the patient’s weight is between their buttocks and their neck. You can easily support their weight while turning them by using such a sheet. You need to make position changes at least every two hours if they are having problems with skin irritation. Star says that sometimes pressure sores can be helped with liquid band aids, and says that ten coats can help the ear of oxygen patients with such an irritation. The elbow is also one of these areas that are prone to pressure sores. Be careful of wrinkles in the sheets as well as the plastic underneath, since these things cause most bed sores.

One interesting fact is that the number one cause of falls with the elderly is throw rugs. You can bleed two liters of blood if you fall and break your hip. Fractures in the elderly happen easily and are common as their bones are brittle. It is important to have a clear walkway in their main living area as to avoid tripping. You might want to put hand rails here and there in problem areas around the home.

Mikie Baker – Caregiving Humorist

Kasi — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 06:34:39 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 096 —“Mikie Baker” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Mikie Baker
Broadcast Date: December 19, 2009

Mikie Baker, Caregiving Humorist describes humorous stories of her Mom who has Dementia and describes needs that may arise when caregiving for your loved one.

Dearly Demented Mom…Mom likes those stuffed animals that sing. She bought her a reindeer that sings grandma got run over by a reindeer… and she enjoys her play toy this season. When she takes her to the V.A. hospital she brings her push toys to keep her busy and focus her attention, and that way she has something to talk about to her friends at that hospital.

Patrick Swazie, she was a fan of him. She took his death very hard. That night she heard about his death, she said tomorrow I need to go shopping. Tomorrow I need to buy black lace underwear for him for mourning.

In her world now, she has about 3 or four girls then there’s Marcus the boy. Then her imaginary husband and her …well, they announced that they adopted 400 boys and now they’re going to adopt them out to orphanages in Africa.

Her mom had always said “If I give you too much trouble, send me to a nursing home”. She decided never, and then took her home to care for her. She says her daughter is taking such good care of her she’s never going to die.

Maybe you are feeling guilt because you have this burden on your shoulders. Don’t. Find alternate living arrangements If you have promised NO nursing home. However, maybe your conditions have changed since such a promise, maybe you have gone from $100,000.00 to $20,000.00.

Dementia is a progressive disease, and you need to be ready for the unexpected. Mikie says that Starr and Bob’s book lets her see what has already happened, is happening AND what may be to come. She says that it has already helped comfort her just to know what happens in this or that situation, and what may be down the road.

She came up with some convenient eating foods/finger foods for mom. Honey bun in mini bits, corn dog in pieces, sweet potatoes in bits. Pizza rolls, mini quiches and all that for new years, and watch the ball drop on T.V. then go to bed. Finger foods help from starr-If they have a hard time with utensils then serve boiled eggs, nuggets, burritos, dunkers french toast sticks, fries, egg rolls, granola bars, mini burgers, hot dogs, mini sandwiches, sausages, tacitos, waffles-sticks/dippers. These help your loved ones feel comfortable, since they can easily feed themselves.

Mikie speaks of her new boyfriend, and mom isn’t sure about him. She is watching him out of the corner of her eye…lol.

Starr says that routine is good for the demented. Surprises will frighten them and going outside of the routine will give you many sleepless nights. Don’t take them out of their routine. They need food, room environment, bath everything must be at the same time every day.

About respite. If you have any type of condition, then look it up because there are tremendous resources. If you have V.A. based home care, then you have many resources. There is a new respite care for you and you will have 36 hours of respite care for your loved one to give you time to get out and shop, errands, etc. USE it. What a tremendous benefit. You can acquire respite. Some nursing homes have it too. Respite means break, breather, and relief or let-up. Check up on it, just call around places like Leeza’s Place at the Bob Ross center 210-207-5300. They always have a pot of coffee on and you can cry on their shoulder if you need someone to talk to. There are even meals on wheels for that wonderful break, a lovingly prepared meal delivered right to you.

Stats: 50 percent of primary caregivers have no help because they don’t know help exists. Can you believe that? They are immersed into this life with no warning and it’s sink or swim guys. Go to www.caregiversadvice.net for free help and resource information. This will make your caregiving job much easier.

1 in 4 households are caring for people aged 50 or older. More than 40% of caregivers for elderly are also caring for young teenagers as well. It is very important to have this kind of help available.

You might have had bad things happen at the hands of your parents, verbal or physical or emotional, and now you find yourself in this position. They are old and helpless and here you are with all the power in your hands, you control their every need and you supply it.

You need to remember that they are not the same that they used to be, and it’s not time for payback. Don’t hold back on them. December is number one in murder and suicide in married couples. Honor your parents. Take the job seriously in mercy and grace that you extend to your parent. If they have dementia they live in a different world so you have to have the mercy and grace to know that they are not “doing this on purpose”. Don’t take things personally. If you have a father who is reaching out toward you and you are a daughter, and it is almost sexual, then it MAY be that you look like your mom at that age and dementia has hold. Disguise yourself when you go into the room to take care of him, put on a nurse uniform or wig….it happens.

Mikie had problems with her mom and her wheelchair. Chair is too small. They had V.A. come out and measure and then came out with a nice wheelchair. Then it was too wide for the door as it had rims to help lift. They took off the rims…then the wheels are a problem. Then they refined the wheels, and they look like racing spokes, or special sport ones. However they were too wide! She said thanks for the coolest chrome package in town but… Then she measured her door WITH them and said write it down NOW and we’ll see. She noticed that that her loved one is getting wider even though not gaining weight.

Home repair modifications (Bexar) 210-340-5111; they can help you modify your home to your special needs, like ramps etc. An assessment is so very helpful. They have things that you need that you didn’t know you need.

Robert Gibbs – CIMA Hospice

Kasi — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 05:38:11 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 120 —“Robert Gibbs – CIMA Hospice” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Robert Gibbs
Broadcast Date: June 5, 2010

Robert is a chaplain for hospice. CIMA is a “hometown hospice”. The chaplain is a minister, not always ordained. He primarily helps someone make peace, reconcile unfinished business and say their goodbye’s and basically brings closure to their life.

Caregivers are realistic, and “in the nitty-gritty” and a big challenge of theirs is stepping back and seeing the “bigger picture”. They know that the chronic stage will come to the dying stage, AKA anticipatory grief, as you know that you and the family are headed for a loss. You need to make your loved-one comfortable. Don’t prop them up and pose them, don’t dress them up when it’s uncomfortable. Let them have their pain medication even though their family wants to visit. Don’t make them do tricks. You need to make their last days comfortable…ask “Is this a great day for her/him?” You are no longer looking for accomplishment performance. Ask yourself “Are we facilitating their needs?” Sit them down and ask, if they don’t have dementia:”Is there anyone you do or don’t want to see? Anything you want to say to your family? Anything you want to share with the small children that you will want to record for a later day when they are older and more understanding?”

When somebody starts to express grief, others in the room often want to shut them down, and stop them from crying, sobbing or other such public displays. Don’t do that. Encourage them. Be strong for that person and let them grieve. Grief is spoken about in universal terms. Everybody’s grief is their own thing. It is personal and individual, as it is connected to our own life and our own life history. Don’t judge or expect emotions or actions from others. Many people judge their own loved-ones by viewing them through the “eyes” of their own grief. Some people are criers. Some people shut down and seem cold. We always take a different road to get there (grief). We have to face this reality and feel the feelings. We adjust to the environment of our loved ones’ disability, and ‘deterioration’ then we need to move-on to living without them.

The difference between men and women and how they deal with grief: Generally, men tend to act-out more than talk-out. Women tend to talk out instead of act out. Men often want to “control” and “do”, while women want to share their feelings and “bounce them off others” for feedback.

If men can’t act on what they need to do, they often feel helpless. They are “fixers” and feel inadequate. Some family members feel that these men don’t care because these men just “sit there”. These men need to have some courage, and do what is not comfortable. Get out of your comfort zone. Sit and hold hands, talk and read scripture, share the family scrapbook or photo album.

If you can’t fix, then maybe you can do: walk into the room of your dying loved one, repair whatever is in their home that needs work, errands need running. Does the grass needs to be mowed? Ask the primary caregiver and you can really help. Visiting can be difficult for many. If it is difficult, then you should sit with your pastor or chaplain and pray about it. Share with loved ones and mourn. They might not have passed-on yet, but you are grieving now. You need to allow yourself to cry and vent those emotions in a healthy manner. Grief really is a process, and often begins long before your loved one passes.

Sheila Warnock – “Share the Care”

Kasi — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 03:41:49 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 110 —“Sheila Warnock” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Sheila Warnock
Broadcast Date: March 27, 2010

Sheila Warnock, author of “Share the Care” encourages us to start our own “Share the Care group”, creating a ‘caregiving family ’that supports someone they know.

Often, caregiving is mostly about learning about other people, and getting together and seeing others pitch-in and work toward a common goal. The “guts” of the meeting: the initial brainstorming to find out who does what, what needs are to be met. The individual data form, everyone fills it out in the beginning. Then they list jobs where help will be needed, and you can rate yourself from “I’m good at that, to don’t call me”. You have a group of people that don’t know each other, and this get’s them on the same page. The coordinator puts together all of these forms, like the yellow pages. On this page are all the people in the patient’s life, information and contact numbers, anyone in their life. You never know at what time you might have to call one of them.

There are certain people who really enjoy spending time with someone, and lighten the energy in the room. They do something fun with the patient…not just going over and doing their chores, often it’s taking them out, going to bingo, flea markets or window shopping!

How to prepare for the meeting, what you do and how to conduct the meeting is all in their book. There are more and more people needing care around the states every day. Often we need to leave our jobs because there is nobody around to help. It’s likely that there are resources around, and volunteers nearby that you can contact or tap into. There are people that are ready to offer their time absolutely free.

You have to know that there is something that happens to you when you are part of such an undertaking, such a blessing. You can help the primary caregiver understand how important they are, and that they need to be aware of their own health both mental and physical. They shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time for their selves.

The group gets their marching orders from the family…weekly. Then they fill the jobs. They don’t take over, they make your life easier to give you a better quality of life, and a better relationship together since you aren’t only focused with all of your energy used up in the monotony of daily overwhelming details.

Spring Dyer Braunam and Helen Trowsdale with A Comfort Care

Kasi — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 03:07:37 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 109 —“Spring Dyer Braunam & Helen Trowsdale” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Spring Dyer Braunam and Helen Trowsdale
Broadcast Date: March 20, 2010

Spring Dyer Braunam & Helen Trowsdale with A Comfort Care share with us what home health care is and how it works.

Sometimes when adult children live far away from the parents, on a visit they find that a decline has occurred, either in health or in general home keep up, such as stacked old dishes in the sink, or several bags of garbage stacked up.

Nobody likes to admit that they really can’t handle all of these things that have always come so very easy to them for their whole life. It takes delicacy to confront this issue. You may need help from family or friends, maybe a doctor or pastor. It is not easy to admit we can’t do certain things anymore.

The family member that is suddenly in a caregiving situation and in need of help such as bathing, or incontinence may need professional help on education about how to do these things. Many times people are discharged way too often after a health issue, and discharge planners at the hospital don’t often have a good grasp on exactly what issues will immediately arise. It is necessary to have a home health assessment, do they need grab bars, or help with toilet care, are they in need of proper equipment and devices. Do they need therapy or nursing? Maybe they have been laying in bed 2-3 days and lost 90 percent of their muscle tone…they can’t pick up where they left off at home and need help getting back on their feet.

Assessments such as this can help in so very many ways. Help them get a shower, a meal, get to the therapist. Some of this help can be only an hour a day, half or the whole day. They may need one or more hours a day, one entire day, maybe three or seven days of care in the week.

The average is usually $16 Dollars an hour. LTC insurance covers this, and they will help process the paperwork and insurance. The care is worth any price. Maybe you want to go out for a break with your loved one or spouse. Give them a call and you can take-off and get that respite, or go on that vacation. Maybe you can go to your child’s baseball game this weekend. Maybe you have trouble sleeping and have been getting behind in your rest, you can give them a call and they will fill-in so you CAN catch up on your sleep that night. Primarily they work with custodial care.

They are fully licensed and bonded and check their employees with a background check, and criminal history check. They try to match up the caregiver to the client. If they are in the home and see a lot of valuable jewelry around, they warn the client to carefully put them away and lock it up. They never want anyone to be taken advantage of.

Some surprising statistics are: 46 percent of caregivers are clinically depressed. 31 percent of them have fair to poor physical health. You don’t have to qualify for A Comfort Care, because it is private pay. Anybody can call and receive that help, and you don’t have to worry about being turned down.

Medicare is Federal and Medicaid is state insurance. Insurance is usually based on your assets and income. You can have about 2000 in assets in the bank. Income is generally 550 a month, to qualify for Medicaid. If you have a home and are on Medicaid, once the patient has died, the state will want to get reimbursed if you owned a home/sale of the home.

Anita Sitz Castillo – Dispute Resolution When Taking Care of Mom

Kasi — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 02:11:31 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 108 —“Anita Sitz Castillo” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Anita Sitz Castillo
Broadcast Date: March 13, 2010

Anita Sitz Castillo from the Bexar County Dispute Resolution Center speaks to Starr and Bob about the importance of two-way communication.

At some level, we are all mediators. We all have problems interacting with one another from a young age. What is your issue, what needs are not being met, and what you think is your best interest which is not being accomplished. One of the “biggies” of dispute is finding out “what are your needs, and what are your wants”. These things are often beyond reason, and deeper reasons abound.

The issue they talk about with mediation is all encompassing. If you have an issue, and you don’t know where to turn, give them a call. They will listen impartially. They will give you information and access to resources…many are free, including free legal advice sometimes.

The most common issues are “I am taking care of mom and dad, but I’m not the only child. It’s my money but nobody will step in and help with cash, time, resources or rides to doctors’ office.” The electricity and water increase is much greater, special meals cost more money, gas for taking them to the doctor and special ramps to be installed as well as bed rails, bathroom handlebars etc. We tend to forget that the primary caregiver has a life aside from this, and often a job, children, and are often maxing out their credit cards. A caregiver can pay out as much as $200,000.00 out of their own pocket taking care of a loved one over time. Caregiving brings about stress in the marriage and household as well. There is a loss of privacy and issues with children and noise… so very many things can build anxiety which leads to a lower immunity system, then illness for anybody living in the home.

Vicki Rackner – 7 North Star Ideas on Pain

Kasi — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 01:52:09 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 106 —“Vicki Rackner, MD” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Vicki Rackner
Broadcast Date: February 27, 2010

Author, Vicki Rackner speaks on pain and teaches you how to apply her 7 North Star Ideas to alleviate the suffering of loved ones.

Vicki became a general surgeon after she woke up in a recovery room, having her own personal experience with pain. Her son was diagnosed with Developmental Delay and became a full time mom to help him become not perfectly perfect, but perfectly him.

So many of us feel that we need to be normal, and need to fix problems. We need to understand that we are here to celebrate.

Seven North Star Ideas: 1) You have your limits, sometimes when your loved one is in pain, YOU’re not the one to deal with it. KNOW YOUR LIMITS. 2) Connection is KING. Pain plus isolation equals suffering. Alleviate suffering, and let them know they are not alone in their pain. 3) PAIN IS A CALL TO ACTION… you may need to do something. 4) Define Blurry Boundaries… whose pain is it? Yours, mine, or ours? It is important who owns the pain as “it is all about THEIR pain”. 5) RESULTS RULE…we sometimes forget the forest for the trees… we get so wrapped up in doing stuff that we can forget where we are headed. What are you trying to achieve with this action? 6) DETECT DETOURS… Know that there are going to be blind spots, tunnel vision, landmines of past experiences that will keep you from being your best and pious self…such as sibling rivalry. 7) TAKE YOUR OWN PULSE FIRST…take a breath and center yourself…start from that stillness and move on from there.

Linda Goldfarb

Kasi — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 20:34:28 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 104 —“Linda Goldfarb” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Linda Goldfarb
Broadcast Date: February 13, 2010

Linda Goldfarb, returning guest and good friend shares some wonderful motivational information about living your life in season and how to lessen the burdens of your children.

Linda has been working with Live Powerfully Now, and has learned to empower the family, to help heal it and bring it back to wholeness. She has learned that growth is not always easy and often the greatest growth is somewhat painful.

To everything there is a season…Ecclesiastes, to explain the meaning of season. Our seasons cover such a vastness of life, not just about chronological age, it is more like physical and emotional placement at any given time. Life is about living one moment to the next.

What is your order of priorities??? Is God first, then family? Do good things. Everyone has a choice; do you want a difference in the lives of our family or somebody that doesn’t matter in the immediacy of the moment? What are you teaching on a daily basis? At some point your children will need to know how to take care of you, and they work out of their experience and what has been modeled to them. How have you influenced your children in how you take care of your elders, and how you honor them?

If you want to do something powerful for yourself, write down what you like and dislike, what fragrances bring joy and warm feelings? What foods do you like? What mementos have fantastic old feelings and memories associated with them? These can be important later in life when you may not remember or care anymore because your mental facilities are no longer what they are today.

Are you dealing with rebellious children or grandchildren? What can you do to address this issue? Each one of us today are mentors. We tend to show everyone in our lives not only how we live, but HOW to live, and who we are to them.

Clutter…Three steps. Face reality by living in our season., clean house, reduce our messes to lighten the burdens of our children. Set a standard of healthy living. Clutter is an aspect of every part of our life-business having control over us. Children who live among clutter have no order and can’t focus/concentrate properly.

Releasing process of decluttering: Make a list – who gets what? Write the name of a particular person on a tag and put it on the item while you are still around! Talk about closure! Look at things around the home that have sentimental value to the one you love, and give it to them now, and LET IT GO. Don’t go over to their home and expect to see it! Make a list of loved ones that you would like to have a particular item. Put the history of the item on it. Pictures…label them! If not, there is no history attached! By doing this we are showing love and value to our loved ones.

Starr says that a great book “ABOVE GROUND” talks about taking the time to go visit your loved one who lives far away, or in a nursing home. They need to know they have family who love them, as it a very tender loving action. Let them know you went out of your way and really value and care for them. Your visit is what is most important, not a call or letter or a gift you bring…just be there and let them direct the visit. This will recharge them for days or weeks to come! If you just go over there and go thru this discomfort you will be so proud of yourself! You will love it and it will be okay even though you will be out of your comfort zone. It IS a sacrifice that will be returned to you tenfold! Pray first for courage and compassion, to do what The Lord wants you to do and say what HE wants you to say. You don’t need to talk… just listen, bring a grandchild or old music/video, or bring a photo album.

One of the best things we can do to our young children is ask them “what can I do for you, what do I need to do FOR you?” Spend time WITH them and see WHERE THEY ARE in their life. Let them direct the conversation and do WHAT THEY WANT.

46-49 caregivers are clinically depressed, often because they weren’t prepared thru their life, and there was no awareness that this was going to occur in their life. When life slams us we are either on a swinging door, ready for the revolving door, or it will knock it off of our feet! Have praise and worship in your home, and it will bring in hope, joy and forgiveness. This will bring a different mindset. Let your children watch and hear you pray for healing or forgiveness.

How important is it for your child to sit down with you to pray, or sit and listen to teaching at a home bible study? Have your family develop a mission statement. Mentor your children in Christ and Christian behavior from an early age.

Caregiver’s Burnout

Kasi — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 18:23:20 +0000

This Week’s Featured TV Podcast

Listen to Volume # 001— Starr Calo-oy – “Caregiver’s Burnout” ( TV Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” Tips on KENS TV–5, San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr Calo–oy
Topic: Caregiver’s Burnout
Broadcast Date: May 25, 2008

Forgiveness is very important, forgive yourself for things you have done or that your loved one has done. Take time to care for yourself. Rest your senses, even for 15 minutes; your sight, hearing, and body. Cry when you need to, laugh when you need to. Take care of your own health, exercise, eat well, pamper yourself. Do whatever it takes to avoid Caregiver Burnout.

Dr. Casey Taber-Hips

Kasi — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 05:45:45 +0000

This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 100 —“Dr. Casey Taber-Hips” (Podcast)

“Caregiving 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Dr. Casey Taber
Broadcast Date: January 16, 2010

Dr. Casey Taber, Orthopedic/hip doctor speaks about falls and the deterioration/mortality rate of the elderly after recovering from them.

Dr. Casey says that there are two types of reactions to such surgeries, scheduled or unscheduled… it’s like getting an auto tune-sup. One you set-up and schedule, and with all of the planning you are prepared and ready. The other is when you fall and break your hip, which has a massive traumatic, psychological component. Spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally you are injured. He says physically, the bone injury, surgery and recovery is only the smallest part of the issue being fixed and addressed. The rest, the emotional psychological part, is the majority of the injury which needs to be recovered-from as well.

It is well documented that the people (all ages young and old) that tend to do the best and have the quickest recovery are the ones with a good family and have established social networking. This is because they have help with their emotional and spiritual needs, not only the physical ones.

Pelvis and hip fracture…what is the difference? Hip fractures have a greater mortality rate than pelvic fractures. People don’t realize that the mortality rate is so very high after the deep hip breaks, and they should prepare for what will often happen, which is a steady decline to hospice and death.

When patients come home from such surgery, often one of the things they want is a bath, as they have not had one for a long time. They feel dirty and especially the ladies need the lightening of spirit that comes with a good bath or shower, washing away the last few weeks of gunk and emotional pain.

Starr spoke about her grandmother and a shower chair in a baby wading pool. They poured buckets on her to help her bathe. They helped her with aids, and draped her so she could keep her dignity and privacy. Starr said that she was in heaven now having all that care and warm water and feeling fresh again! She said that it restored her spiritually, especially having her grooming lotions, powders and scents which restored her much more than you would think.

The loss of independence is a major component of the decline as they are stuck in a wheelchair or walker, and can’t get around without help. They fear that this will not pass and they will go the way of their elders or older sicker friends. Addressing the emotional needs and the difference in the lifestyle of your loved ones goes a long way, so prepare them and yourselves… talk about it.

The hip is a ball and socket joint, which is what breaks usually, and if that is replaced they can be up and moving the next day. If the socket breaks, it is harder, and it takes 6-8 weeks for bones to heal so it takes longer to recover.

Patients’ rehab; you have certain motion restrictions as hips can dislocate, so they take certain precautions like socks and shoes (since bending over is problematic), feeding, moving from bed to wheelchair, or to the walker. It is really just getting up and walking, and it takes 4 months to gain that endurance and be able to more easily walk and get about.

When the patient comes home, what kind of care is required after such surgery? It is dependent on what are their needs? Do they have knowledgeable health care set up? Is the family ready and educated? What assistance do they have? Many of these people need to go to a rehab unit for about 6 weeks. Doctor Casey likes to get home health involved to help, as wounds need to be kept dry for a couple of weeks, and many people need to keep a watch out for blood clots; medications are very important. Sometimes nurses come out to help with that, and these special medications are given for 2-3 weeks without fail.

In many cases the family member needs to be instructed by a home health care person to help them learn to care for their loved one. Only 10-20 percent of caregivers use help from agencies both public (low cost or no cost often) and private. 50 percent of primary caregivers have no help at all.

The spiritual aspect of recovery, and how it is broken when the bone breaks is important to be addressed. The loss of independence gets to them, and the break of normal daily activity can have a major impact.